ah!

ah, originally uploaded by horseshoecrab.

so! i have traveled so far without even leaving.
but i have left, so much -
i have let go of so much.
i am so much lighter, so much more real.
i feel like i can see now, truly - and taste, and hear..
and i know i will only become more in awe with the world
as every moment passes.
vermont has no desire for me to leave.
my zeal to leave vermont truly was my zeal to leave the heaviness
and strife i've been carrying in my heart - far before i moved to vermont, perhaps far before i was born. who knows, and perhaps some day, on some sacred fireside night, i will find the roots to why i attempted so many times to carry the weight of the world, why i tried to stitch every wounded heart with the sinew of my own veins. but no more! and that is amazing! i love so much, but i am also growing more and more aware of just how powerful everyone is - not just me. everyone has the ability to grow and dance and simply be. to know oneself, to know god, to know the tao. they are all the same, as the blue sky is also the gray sky is also the night sky is also my pupils. i don't need to sever my connections with vermont in order to find freedom - if anything, vermont has offered me an infinitely beautiful haven to learn and grow within. yes, i will be traveling - but perhaps not a 'far' as i initially thought. i walked 20-30 miles to Adamant and back from Montpelier, and it taught me so much about distance, miles, time - namely, that it didn't matter. all that mattered was the road, the sky, the trees, the laughter of the water which was flowing everywhere! the moss in bloom, the grackle talking in the trees, the pickerel frogs and their beautiful sexy salutations (hey, i just thawed out, let's mate!). life is blooming everywhere. every breath is a gift. <3

so, that's my story for now!
love love love & winds of beautiful change to you <3

- Amy