eloquence

eloquence, originally uploaded by horseshoecrab.

i sat on the edge of the parking lot that houses the montpelier farmer's market in the warmer months for nearly an hour. i was watching, simply taking everything in. and the grass was too. the train, the bridge, the sky, the fluxing constellations of pigeons. i realized that i had no idea what to tell people when they ask me what it is i do, what i call myself. to call myself a poet is foreign now, the title of artist seems too thin. i hear music in everything, but to call myself a musician evokes expectations i don't want to even approach. language itself is a strange concept for me these days - as most of what i feel, my deeper higher desires, are practically indescribable. a higher eloquence is waiting for me, somewhere in the weave of this journey. perhaps others who know what it is to simply know, and to speak volumes with a smile (to realize that volumes are no longer needed - that everything that can and will be expressed can happen in a breath) will find me, and i them. sometimes i get caught up in the heaviness of others, of the spirit of a town, the tired gait of those who are truly not happy. i flux back and forth in my inclinations concerning humans and society - just how much time (ha! time!) i want to spend in a city, in a town, listening to the loops and cycles and stories. i have seen so many passion plays, i have starred in so many of my own. there must be somewhere clean, somewhere honest. i don't expect that this is a physical place so much as a state of being. i am already traveling there. i have already arrived.